


Be

by The_Ghost_King



Series: Hozier Inspired [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Hurt Peter Parker, Inspired by a Hozier Song, M/M, Mentions of stuff that happened in Infintiy War, Miles Morales Needs a Hug, Not beta read bc I hate myself, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Some dubious binding advice btw, Song: Be (Hozier), Sweet Miles Morales, Teen Peter Parker, Title from a Hozier Song, Trans Male Character, Trans Miles Morales, Trans Peter Parker, We Die Like Men, Where peter was @ when he got snapped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21962875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Ghost_King/pseuds/The_Ghost_King
Summary: Miles Morales is just your average  Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man, crashing New York Pride and parading around in some Pride Flags. But what's that? Another Spider-person!?
Relationships: Miles Morales/Peter Parker
Series: Hozier Inspired [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1308455
Comments: 14
Kudos: 197





	Be

**Author's Note:**

> I've been struggling to write for forever and this is definitely not my best but please do enjoy.
> 
> [The song this was inspired by](https://youtu.be/WjJUh8z-QL8)  
> Side Note:  
> Hey, so like I'm trans, and although Miles binds with Sports tape in this fic that doesn't mean you should try it too. Your skin can have a nasty allergic reaction and it can affect your top surgery prospects, it works for some people but not for all so please listen to your body and be careful.

Being Spider-Man is the best thing that has ever happened to Miles. Ever. Binding and being Spider-Man however? Those two things don’t go together very well. This doesn’t mean that he hasn’t tried. It’s one of the top things you aren’t allowed to do in binders: sports, exercise, exerting yourself and well, Miles had known this, for sure. He’d been made aware of all the rules of binding by both his parents and his doctor multiple times. Don’t wear it for longer than eight hours, don’t sleep in it, don’t physically exert yourself when you’re binding. Had Miles listened to any of this? No.

Because, come on, really, had they been expecting him to take off his binder at school? To go into the bathroom, get changed and then walk around with a sports bra under his clothes instead of his binder and then just live? Just thinking about it was already incredibly dysphoria inducing. Actually doing it? Unheard of. 

The sleeping thing, he doesn’t really have an excuse for. It’s just nicer, waking up with a flat chest instead of laying in bed for a good few minutes extra, not wanting to move because you know that certain parts of your anatomy will move with you and you might actually die if they do.

The physical exertion part had only really applied to gym class in school and Miles had found a solution to the issue. He’s not out at school, the only one who knows is Ganke, his roommate, and they don’t really talk about it. Miles doesn’t want to. But that meant that he had to find some sort of solution to his little binding problem. That's when he’d stumbled across a video explaining the wonders of Kinesiology Tape. It’s sports tape, that athletes use when they have injuries or to provide extra support. The FTM application of this handy little invention is binding. He’d discussed it with his parents, who had taken it to his doctor and they’d come to a consensus about the issue. Neither his parents nor his doctor wanted him to be wearing his binder in gym class. It would be detrimental to his health and he’d be at risk of fainting, hyperventilating and general shortness of breath. So that had been a big no-no. 

Binding with a sports bra was something his doctor had suggested but Miles himself had objected to that.

“I just, I just feel as if, as if it’s way more obvious when I’m wearing a sports bra,” he said, “And I know that I’m small chested enough that that probably isn’t the case but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop worrying about it. The tape is a better option, in my opinion, because it’s way less noticeable and won’t restrict me whilst also being really capable of achieving the result I want, y’know.”

A lengthy discussion had followed but in the end, it was decided that Miles would be allowed to wear Kinesiology tape. There were some strict guidelines, he had to cover his nipples with a bandaid so they wouldn’t get ripped off, the tape is best removed with some type of oil or water and he should never ever just rip it off because it could take his skin off. Which is awful whilst it heals because he won’t be able to bind and it will be awful because if it happens enough it affects skin elasticity which would affect his future top surgery prospects.

Especially the last bit had put the fear of God in Miles so he’d adhered to the rules unanimously.

This was an established routine, exactly how he did his things for months.

Then he became Spider-Man and his routine was fucked to hell and back.

When Miles goes out at night to be Spider-Man for the first time after everything with Kingpin he wears his binder under the suit. He'd been wearing it before as well. When Peter ‘taught’ him how to web sling, the first time they went to May Parker's house and when he ultimately defeated Kingpin and sent his friends back to their own dimensions.

Too much had been happening at the time for his body to really process everything that was happening. The spider bite had made him taller and dialled his senses up to eleven. He'd become stronger and had weird powers. His body had been too busy processing all that other shit to really pay attention to the fact that he was binding at the same time.

It might have also just been Miles being willfully ignorant because there'd been more important shit to worry about than his ribs.

The first time he went spider-manning after though, that was a completely different story. He'd been out of breath before he even reached the first altercation and by the end of the night, he'd been in physical pain. A lot of it.

He'd gone out like that a few more times but his parents had noticed that he was doing worse and at some point, they'd sat him down to have a talk.

Telling his parents that he's Spider-Man was terrifying. Almost as terrifying as coming out had been. Especially with how he knew what his father thought of the web-slinging hero.

He didn’t have to worry though because, as always, they’d accepted him with open arms.

However, this did mean regulations would be put in place and Miles adhered to them without complaint.

He kept going out as Spider-Man, wearing his binder (like a dumbass), and then he’d gotten caught changing by his mum one night.

Normally he locks his door when he’s changing, or his parents knock before coming in. His mum had probably thought he was asleep that night and that’s why she’d just walked in. 

Her reaction to seeing Miles taking off the binder that he’d obviously been wearing underneath the Spider-Man suit was something that had put the fear of God in Miles for forever. 

He’d made his mum angry before, and he knew what her angry muttered Spanish sounded like but this was a whole new level. 

He’d been sure he was going to fucking die that’s how worried/angry she sounded.

He’d been grounded for a month after that, and his parents hadn’t allowed him to go out spider-manning until he promised he wouldn’t wear a binder under the suit anymore.

So KT tape it was. At least he had a really big stash of it. Both at his house and back at the dorms.

* * *

New York Pride is the event of the year and with big events comes crime. That’s totally why Miles is sitting on a rooftop, dressed up in full Spider-Man gear, looking out over the parade right now. It’s not as if he’s planning to swoop down there and join the parade or anything. He would never do that, especially not when he’d been injured recently and it hadn’t healed properly just yet.

His parents are going to fucking murder him.

Worth it, he thinks as he jumps off the building and slings towards the largest float.

He perches on top of the float and stands up. It takes a few seconds for people to start noticing him but then they’re yelling and pointing. Saying, ‘Spider-Man, Spider-Man’s at Pride!’

Miles’s smile under the mask is impossibly wide and he goes and talks to the people whose float he just crashed.

“Hey,” he says to the first person that approaches him. It’s a teenager who can’t be more than a year or so older than Miles. They’ve got fluffy brown hair and the most adorable smile. 

Once they stand in front of Miles his Spidey sense goes off and the two look at each other.

“You’re like me,” they say in unison.

“Different dimension?” Miles asks and the other Spider-Person nods hesitantly. 

“Okay, good to know, we’ll talk after the parade. I’ve got a job to do. Do you, by any means, know where the Pride flags are stored?”

The other Spider-Person (Miles will catch their name after he’s done his superhero duties) shakes their head but leads him over to someone else who does know where the pride flags are.

That’s how Spider-Man appears on every single local news station on top of a New York City Pride float wearing a Trans Pride flag as a cape and holding a Bisexual Pride flag in his hand. He’s got a microphone in the other and when he yells, “Trans Rights!” the entire city roars.

Subsequently, this is the footage that every news site airs that night when they discuss New York City Pride.

Miles’s Spidey twitter account has never had more traffic.

He takes the other Spider-Person home with him after Pride. Miles tells them to cling to his back as he swings back home and enters through his bedroom window.

The first thing he does is yell that he’s home, the second thing he does is yell that he’s brought someone over, the third thing he does is drag the other Spider-Person downstairs with him so he can discuss this with his parents.

After the fact, Miles had explained everything about the dimension travel but besides the one time Gwen had fished him from his Dimension so they could hang nothing had happened. Until now, that is.

“My name is Peter Parker,” the other Spider-Person says. “I’m sixteen years old and I’ve been Spider-Man for about a year and a half now.” 

As Peter spoke Miles had taken his mask off and once he’s finished talking he introduces himself. 

“Miles Morales, Spider-Man for a few months now. How’d you get here Peter?” 

That’s how they hear the story of Peter’s world. About Tony Stark getting kidnapped and becoming Iron Man and the major events that happened after that. About the ‘Civil War’ that split the Avengers in two and their subsequent loss to Thanos.

“One second everything was good the next I was disintegrating,” Peter tells them. 

“My Spidey Sense was screaming at me and it hurt, it hurt so much. Mr Stark was there with me and I kept on telling him that I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to go. I died in his arms, I think, and then I woke up in a back alley back in New York City moments later. I didn’t know where I was or how I’d gotten there. I had a panic attack and was catatonic for a while after that. I don’t know how long I sat in that alley but it must have been a while. That was a few days ago, I’ve gotten by since then, went to shelters and got some more clothes and a backpack, kept myself fed. I volunteered to be on that float because it ensured some money and a good meal and because I thought it was important for Spider-Man to be at Pride even if I wasn’t Spider-Man at that moment.”

"And then I found you."

"And then you found me."

* * *

There’s no means of transporting Peter back to his own dimension, besides the Collider, which is unavailable for various reasons… so Peter stays with them. Miles worries in those first few hours that Peter would start glitching and he’d have to watch Peter Parker die a second time but it doesn’t happen. Peter integrates into their dimension and Miles’s life without issue.

It’s summer break and the two boys go out Spider-manning together. The city wonders who the new superhero in red, blue and gold is and why he’s got spider legs when the Spider-Man they’ve grown accustomed to doesn’t have them. The questions subside once Miles tells a passing news anchor that two Spiders are better than one and swings away. 

It’s a bit strange at first, sharing the city with someone new but as Miles and Peter continue working together they become more and more comfortable with each other. 

They get comfortable enough that Miles forgets to tell him that he’s trans and funnily enough when he does go to tell Peter, awkward and a bit worried, Peter beats him to it.

“I’m trans!” he yells at Miles one cool summer night when they get back from patrolling and at first Miles doesn’t know how to react. He stands there and gapes and Peter for a few seconds that feel like an eternity before squeaking, “Same,” and cover his mouth with his hands in shock.

“I guess us Spider-People have more in common than we think we do huh?” Peter chuckles and Miles nods in affirmation.

* * *

Interacting with Peter becomes even easier after that. They eat ice cream together after patrol and hold competitions to see who can do the craziest flips from building to building. They help his parents around the house and play video games together with Ganke. It’s fun and Miles is happy.

They’re there for each other in the worst moments too when either one of them wakes up from a nightmare. Miles reaching for his uncle, trying to pull him out of the path of the inevitable bullet or blonde Peter Parker’s broken body and voice, the roughness of his voice in his final moments. Flashes of the collider and every second of confusion and fear. Peter’s nightmares make him whisper, “I don’t want to go,” over and over again. Sometimes he dreams about turning to dust, feeling his body dissolve and waking up disoriented in a back alley of a city he knows like his back pocket and also doesn’t know at all. He dreams of being crushed under a building and flung through the air, of drowning and being a disappointment to someone he feels he can never live up to. They talk to each other about it.

Peter has a mattress next to Miles’s bed but after a nightmare they climb in next to each other and tell each other stories with their foreheads touching.

“I’m worried,” Peter says one night, “about Mr Stark. I just know that he’s going to beat himself up over this one, he’s going to blame himself for not saving me and harbour a guilt complex and he’s never going to allow himself to live it down.” his voice becomes progressively softer as he speaks, “he was supposed to be getting married soon, like real soon, to Ms Potts and he was so excited about it, hoping for a baby and any semblance of domesticity. It’s not fair,” Peter mumbles, “It’s not fair, he deserves so much more for everything he’s sacrificed and I-,” he struggles to continue speaking and instead takes a few shuddering breaths, “I’m here and I can’t do anything.” His voice breaks on the last word.

Miles doesn’t even think about grabbing his hand under the cover and squeezing it tight, his face is heating up but he powers on and says, “he’d understand, you’ve told me so much about him and I’m 200% sure he’d understand. You’re going to go home someday and you’re going to tell him about how weird this New York City is and how you met a different Spider-Man who’s half Black half Puerto Rican and who can zap people and turn invisible and he’s going to do some of his weird tech shit to make a suit that can do that but better.” By the end of Miles’s ramble Peter is smiling.

“Thanks,” he says and squeezes Miles’s hand.

* * *

Their first kiss is on top of a random building. They’re both out of breath and high on adrenaline.

They’d fought Doc Ock mere moments before and she’d injured Miles quite severely by slamming him into a building when he jumped in front of Peter to keep him safe.

They’d barely contained her and gotten out unscathed.

“You idiot,” Peter yells at him the moment they’re both stood upright, Miles clutching his side. “Why’d you do that? You could’ve gotten yourself killed.” He stressed the last word and there was something in his voice that Miles couldn’t quite discern.

“If I hadn’t jumped in she would’ve slammed you into kingdom come, dude, can I get a thank you at least,” Miles huffs. He stands up as straight as his wounds allow him and crosses his arms to prevent Peter from seeing how badly his hands are shaking.

“You could have died,” Peter says again stepping into Miles’s space. Miles takes a step back, stumbles into the pole of the water tank on top of the building and goes rigid. He’s tempted to go invisible to get himself out of the situation but refrains out of courtesy. Peter would be even more upset with him if he decided to run like that.

“But I didn’t die, and that’s what matters,” Miles snaps back.

Peter takes another step towards him and rips off his own mask, his eyes are wide and red-rimmed, his lips are trembling and Miles is starting to feel really bad about his actions now.

He’d do it again in a heartbeat, but the look on Peter’s face would definitely haunt him next time. 

“That’s not, That’s not the point,” Peter yells as Miles slips his own mask off. Peter’s so close to him now, they’re all up in each other’s space. Close enough to feel each other’s breaths.

Afterwards, neither of them can remember who leans in first but one moment they’re shouting and the next they’re kissing. Leaning into each other and holding each other tight as their lips are pressed together in a long and chaste kiss.

Neither of them says anything when they pull apart but Miles apologizes for risking his life.

They swing back home, hand in hand, and Peter berates Miles along with his parents as he gets patched up. 

It’s worth it though, all the bickering and ickey soft feelings and vulnerability because it means Miles gets to fall asleep with a boy holding his hand and wake up to his sleeping face.

* * *

Peter disappears the day before school starts again.

He says he’s been feeling sick for a bit, some weird rumbling in his stomach and pains all over his body, especially his chest. They’re kissing one second and the next Peter breathes an almost indiscernible ‘Oh’, then he’s gone.

Miles is numb at first, when he walks home, barely recognises the streets he’s walking through, barely reacts to the traffic around him.

When he gets home and his mum asks him where Peter is he sobs and then doesn’t stop.

“He’s gone,” he wails over and over again as if 11 weeks is enough to fall in love with someone and feel like you can’t live without them.

* * *

He doesn’t see Peter again for quite some time but one day a glowing orange portal opens up in his room and Peter steps through.

“Hey.” 


End file.
